You know how people always talk about the super strong bond between parents and their kids?
Yeah, it’s like this unbreakable thing that’s supposed to last from when you’re born to when you’re all grown up. Parents are expected to give us love, guidance, support, and protection along the way. But sometimes, that bond gets shattered, and parents make the tough call to go to No Contact with their grown-up children.
It’s actually happening more and more these days, but it’s still this hush-hush, don’t-talk-about-it topic that freaks people out. So, in this article, we’re gonna dig into why some parents choose to cut ties with their adult kids. We’ll hear from those who’ve actually gone to No Contact and get a peek into their experiences. Our goal is to shed some light on this touchy subject and help others going through similar struggles find some comfort and understanding.
Here are some thoughts from a recent online forum.
Table of Contents
Irreconcilable Differences
Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, conflicts just keep popping up like stubborn weeds. You argue, disagree, and it feels like you’re constantly butting heads. It gets exhausting and draining, leaving no room for peace or compromise. So, going no contact becomes a way to preserve your sanity and find some much-needed tranquility.
2. Substance Abuse
When addiction takes hold of someone you love, it’s like watching them slip away into a dark abyss. Their actions become unpredictable, and their behavior is erratic. It’s heartbreaking and scary. Going no contact might be a desperate attempt to protect yourself from the turmoil and chaos of addiction, hoping that someday they’ll find the strength to recover.
3. Mental Health Issues
Dealing with severe mental health conditions can be incredibly challenging—for both the child and the parent. It might involve moments of instability, emotional turbulence, and even potential harm. Sometimes, going no contact is a painful decision made out of concern for your own well-being and safety, as well as theirs.
4. Abuse or Violence
Nobody should endure abuse, period. If your adult child directs physical, emotional, or verbal violence toward you or others in the family, it’s an urgent matter of self-preservation to distance yourself. It’s about breaking free from the toxic cycle and protecting your own physical and emotional health.
5. Betrayal or Deception
Trust is the glue that holds relationships together. But when it’s shattered by betrayal or deceit—be it theft, manipulation, or lies—it’s like a punch to the gut. It’s hard to rebuild that shattered trust, and sometimes, going no contact is the only way to protect yourself from further hurt and damage.
6. Lack of Boundaries
Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships. When a child consistently disregards boundaries, whether it’s invading your personal space or exploiting your kindness, it can feel like a never-ending rollercoaster.
Going no contact might be a necessary step to establish boundaries, preserve your own well-being, and teach them the importance of respect.
7. Parental Alienation
Parental alienation is a heartbreaking situation where one parent manipulates the child against the other parent. It can lead to a complete breakdown in the relationship, leaving the targeted parent with no choice but to go no contact in order to protect their mental and emotional health.
8. Unresolved Family Issues
Families are complex, and sometimes unresolved issues from the past keep resurfacing, poisoning the present. Lingering conflicts or deep-rooted family dynamics can create an environment filled with tension, resentment, and toxicity. Going no contact may be a way to break free from that cycle and seek peace for your own well-being.
9. Lifestyle Differences
It’s okay to have different lifestyles, beliefs, and values. But when those differences become a constant source of friction, making it impossible to find common ground or respect each other’s choices, it can strain the parent-child relationship. Going no contact might be a last resort when coexistence seems unbearable, hoping that time apart brings clarity and perspective.
10. Repeated Disappointments
When someone repeatedly lets you down, breaks promises, or behaves inconsistently, it erodes trust and chips away at the foundation of the relationship. It’s like constantly stepping on a rollercoaster of hope and disappointment. Going no contact could be a painful decision to protect yourself from further heartbreak, setting a boundary that says, “Enough is enough.”
There’s a lot of encouragement on the Web today for family members to go no contact with other family members. It’s too bad we’re not seeing possible ways to resolve those issues which are causing the no contact. While not all issues can be resolved, many can, and many listed in this article can be resolved. I understand that, definitely, there are times when it’s legit for parents to cut ties with their adult children, but most of the reasons in th
is article are not good enough reasons in light of the family bonds that are being thrown away as if they hold no more value than a used disposable lighter.
I am curious did you ask the children why they have no contact with their absent parent. My daughter was emotionally and verbally abused by her biological father yet he enjoys shifting the blame to her. How does a parent blame the child? Where is that story???
It’s not all about parents ghosting their children. Sometimes kids have to ghost their parents for the very same reasons. Why don’t isn’t an article posted about that? How about an article to resolve broken bonds? How about an article on how to move on if those bonds can’t be repaired.
My daughter is an addict. She is verbally and physically abusive. I’ve spent a fortune trying to get her clean and keep her from being homeless. No longer. I hope I never see her again. No contact was the only way to preserve my sanity.
There is only so much a parent can do to help and guide their child. It is a sad but true fact that some children are simply beyond help, because they will not take charge of their lives. When the parent has reached the limit, they often have no choice but to break off contact.