10 Reasons Parents Get So Mad at Little Things Instead of Calmly Correcting the Action
Most parents are guilty of snapping at their children at some point. Often, the most minor action is what earns the parents’ ire. Parents snap for many reasons, and it has less to do with their children and more to do with the parent’s life.
Adulting comes with a lot of stress. As a parent, that still exists with the addition of new stressors. Here are some reasons parents listed for losing it over minor things.
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Exhaustion, several parents agreed, is a top cause for parents snapping at their children over trivial mistakes. Even non-parents can attest that too much work and insufficient sleep make one increasingly irritable.
Now, stretch that over days, weeks, and months, especially when some people believe you should be, as one parent puts it, “grateful for it all.”
Though only one mentioned this, it deserves addressing; depression. Depression does not just mean sadness. As one parent explained, when depressed, their “rage was just beneath the surface.”
As such, small things their children do “set them off.” They feel bad when they scream at their offspring but acknowledge how “overwhelming” it is to be human.
3. Straw That Broke The Camel’s Back
Everyone has days where everything that can go wrong does. This is no different for parents. As one parent explains, those inconsequential things their children do can be the final thing “in a series of seemingly little things.”
They admit that, though they attempt to let problems or situations “roll off their back,” there are times when they cannot. As such, they sympathize with other parents who share similar experiences. Several others concurred that a kid’s small mistake could be the “last straw” on an awful day.
4. Repeating For the Millionth Time
A lot of parents chimed in on this one. Repeating yourself over and over again. Though exaggerated, one parent said seeing their kid do something for the “10,000,000 time” makes them feel like “a volcano exploding.”
Another admitted repeating yourself daily, year after year, is frustrating. Someone else noted that when the parent does snap, there are a “thousand instances” where the parent tried calmly correcting the behavior.
5. Their Parents Yelled At Them
Not many admitted this, and there are opposing opinions, but some admitted they learned to yell because their parents yelled. One parent claims they are a “well-adjusted adult,” even though their parents yelled at them. They say people must stop judging parents as long as they are not physically and emotionally scarring their offspring.
However, another, who also stated their parents screamed at them as a kid disagrees. They talk about how terrifying it felt when their father hollered at them. They had their father’s temper but locked it away. So they never yell at their three children, emphasizing there are “zero benefits” from shouting at your kids.
6. Work Stress
A parent of two says that although laidback before kids, they are now “angry all the time.” That is because they work a “crappy job” in Japan that is stressful, with long commutes and little time to decompress. So that frustration spills over and piles onto whatever annoying thing the kids do, and they snap. Additionally, no one pays parents for all the work and stress of raising children.
Someone suggested they look for one in another country. The father is currently trying to get their wife a U.S. visa so they can leave. But many other parents stressed how drama at work follows them home, leading to an outburst.
7. Inability to Process Their Emotions
It’s releasing “pent-up emotions, but at the wrong address,” someone explains. Another parent states yelling at your kid for small things rather than emergencies diminishes the impact.
If everything a child does sets you off, how do they discern what actions are truly a problem? Others said parents need to control their emotions, as they are the parent.
8. Associating a Behavior With a “Bad Child.”
Parents often feel like other parents and adults judge them by their kids’ behaviors. As such, one commenter states if the parent associates a behavior with a “bad kid,” it can cause them to overreact. However, there are a lot of things people learn from their parents.
I’ve seen parents snap at kids for calling any adult by their first name without a “miss” or “mister” in front of it because it’s “disrespectful,” as taught by their own parents. They get preoccupied with appearances.
9. Short Temper
Though only one parent admitted a temper, others pointed out that parents with short fuses should not have children. They stated how “strange” it is that many parents refuse to “self-reflect” or acknowledge they are at fault. Instead, they rationalize it away as being a trivial response rather than something they should work on.
10. Other Learned Behavior From Parents
Most parents use their own parents to guide what is acceptable or unacceptable when raising their children. Similar to the person who pointed out the “bad kid” behavior, this goes beyond that. It’s about respect and power for some parents.
Using their kids as outlets for their frustrating and demanding respect and subservience. Kids are not “programmable robots,” as someone else points out. Approach your kids respectfully, and they’ll return it. Children’s actions are not all rooted in disrespect.
This thread inspired this post.
This article was originally published on STEM Education Guide.