Parenting is hard, and without sounding too judgmental, so much of what we see daily can make us wonder what has happened to modern parents.
One only needs to scratch the surface online to see countless tropes ranging from overfeeding and overindulgent behavior to material spoiling. Moreover, there is a litany of other parental misdemeanors to add.
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However, it goes both ways. The age of children being ‘seen and not heard’ is well behind us. Nowadays, it is common to see kids controlling their parents, verbally abusing them, and even physically attacking them to get their own way.
Recently, a conversation appeared online about the red flags for bad parenting. Of course, the Internet responded with some great examples of woeful mothering or fathering.
1. Never Admitting They Are Wrong
Nothing can ruin a child’s sense of ethos more than competing with parental egos. Being so proud that one cannot admit their mistakes is not only harmful to a child; it can ruin any relationship. Kids need to know that nobody is perfect, and parents are no different from them.
2. Telling Their Child They Weren’t Wanted
In one heartbreaking chapter, someone was born after a stillborn older sibling. Subsequently, their mother would invent a hypothetical life for the dead brother: he was a “doctor who cured cancer” or an “astronaut.” At the same time, concurrently, she neglected her own living, breathing offspring.
3. Talking Down Their Kids’ Achievements
It was staggering hearing about such unwarranted bile some parents have in them. There was a sorry anecdote about reading from a high school journal and finding toxic notes from a mother, including how their child would never graduate, grow up to be nothing, and struggle.
4. Pushing Their Trauma Onto Their Children.
No innocent child needs to hear about how their parent was abused or wronged in their own childhood — children need to be children.
5. Shouting At Their Child For Anything
This goes without saying. Children whose parents scream at them — surprise — grow up to do the same. Even teenagers cannot yet understand emotional expressions properly, so when a child hears shouting all the time, it is traumatic and serves no purpose whatsoever.
6. Giving Eldest Sons or Daughters Too Much Responsibility
How many friends with large families do you know who delegate parenting to their firstborn child? Whether it is the daughter becoming the de-facto babysitter or the son becoming the man of the house, there is agreement that this is wrong. Teenagers need freedom — especially from younger siblings.
7. Smothering Their Kids
A fine line exists between looking after one’s kids and infantilizing them. Nothing is wrong with showering your children with love and affection, but some parents take it too far. Moms and dads who like to coddle, cut their kids’ food up, or pick everything up after them risk making their kids helpless in later life.
8. Hitting Their Kids
Beating children in any way is wrong, and there is no denying it. Some may argue that culture dictates a different ethos for some parents. However, a child raised in love doesn’t need a firm hand.
9. Recording Their Child’s Hysterics for Social Media
It is remarkable how some people consider their child’s emotional outbursts good video content. A kid who breaks down needs a parent’s comfort or intervention, not a phone silently recording their turmoil.
10. Laughing off Their Kids’ Bad Behavior
Whether on an airline, in Walmart, or at a restaurant, anarchic children annoying the general public never fails to scream bad parent. Furthermore, the consensus was that anybody who allows their child to hurt another person’s child is also highly toxic.
This thread inspired this post.
This article was originally published on STEM Education Guide.