10 Biggest Struggles of Being a Stay at Home Mom
Being a stay-at-home mother has its perks.
From not having to commute daily to work to enjoying meals in the privacy of your own home, there are some perks to the job. Many moms say the struggles of being a stay-at-home mom outweigh the advantages.
After a mother took to an online mom community to ask for support from other moms divulging their biggest struggles, these were the top discussed stay-at-home-mom (SAHM) woes.
1. Being “On” 24/7
Although it’s the farthest thing from a Hollywood performance, every mom knows the feeling of having to be “on” at all times of the day. You can never clock out of being a mom – even if you want to. One mom says, “At least the husband’s work day ends. SAHM’s workday never does.” Nor do you get a sick day or weekend off.
One mom explains when looking back, loneliness was something she struggled with. “It was loneliness more than anything.” She didn’t have any friends who were moms, and being with a baby all day and never really having adult conversations with anyone other than her husband at the end of the day was difficult. Many people will never understand that solitude.
3. Never-Ending Tasks
Most moms are near-unanimous over the seemingly never-ending list of things to do that exist in their heads each day. “If you clean all day, it just gets messed up right after,” one mom bemoans.
Additionally, moms always need to go to the store for groceries, do laundry, make meals for the kids, etc. Also, having no break at all exhausts many mothers. “I wanna lay in the bathtub for an hour and read a book, but I don’t have the freedom to do those things.”
(If you ask us, all stay-at-home moms deserve a relaxing bath as much as possible!)
4. Other People Thinking You Don’t “Work.”
Feeling marginalized is constantly at the forefront of many moms’ minds, and countless mothers have chimed in to express their frustration. “Oh god. So much that,” says one woman. “It’s 1.5-2 full-time jobs. I know because we recently hired a full-time housekeeper to take care of the house, and even without doing any housework, I pretty much have no free time!”
Simply put, caring for a child at home is tiring, even though many non-parents assume it’s easy. Exhaustion and others not understanding how you could be exhausted is something many SAHMs struggle with.
6. Thinking That Everything Needs To Be Done Now
Understanding that not everything on your to-do list has to be checked off in the immediate future is an ability many, but not all, moms have. Thinking everything needs to get done now stresses one mother out so much she confesses, “I get so overwhelmed and snap at everyone.”
7. Emotions That Pile Up
Being a stay-at-home mom has many benefits for you and your children, but sometimes the downsides drag down even the best parents. Before you know it, you’re bottling up your feelings and not healthily expressing yourself. One thoughtful mom says, “Even now, I realize my emotions are still piling up until I explode on my poor husband, who works 50-55 hours weekly to provide for us.”
8. No Free Time for Yourself
Countless mothers agree that you may give up part of your identity as a stay-at-home mom. “I thought I would have so much free time for hobbies and working out,” one mom confesses. In reality, she explains that she can’t even eat a bowl of canned soup without being needed. It sounds exhausting, and we can see how that’s a struggle!
We were surprised to find out that more than one mom has struggled with feelings of jealousy, but after hearing what one person had to say, we believe it.
“I’m very jealous of my husband,” a woman reveals. “He has a very successful and fast-growing business and is a big deal and name in his industry. He is one of those people who turned his hobby into a lucrative business, goes to work, and has fun all day with a small group of like-minded employees.”
Finally, a lack of sleep is the most-discussed struggle for stay-at-home moms. “My pattern is messed up since pregnancy, and I make it worst by being on my phone,” admits one mom. “My eye has been twitching all day, and it’s because of no sleep,” another mom reveals.
If you ask us, a good night’s rest – and maybe some much-needed bath time – is in order for these ladies!
This thread inspired this post.